


this lonely silence

by Gay_as_fuck



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, musical songs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-17
Updated: 2016-01-18
Packaged: 2018-05-14 14:29:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5747887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gay_as_fuck/pseuds/Gay_as_fuck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The medbay of the lost light finds its self filled with songs</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. before

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing

Ratchet would often hum to himself if he was working alone. Never a real song, or almost never, just a collection on sounds that gritted and purred out of his vocals. They made a sweet sound that very few got the chance to hear, and almost none were gifted a chance to hear it a second time. 

Eventually it would find itself in the same place it always did, the same somber and tired tune. It was the kind of tune that would play as soldiers limp home from the war only to learn that the war has taken that as well.

The kind of tune that plays as someone knows that they'll only ever get one chance to kiss the one they love, it plays the moment after. The tune spoke of a dead world with a lone man telling it's story to a child with open ears.

The kind of music that plays the story of a killer turned savior trying but failing to leave the past in the dust. Of a lonely man who got what he wanted but not with who he dreamed. Of a lonely person committing their lives to help others.

The tune spun a tale about someone wanting to please and lead with goodness but failing. Of someone without the past and scared but ready to dig deeper. Of someone in love with another whose job was killing them and they could do nothing about it.

The song shared the story of a man who worked for peace but worked for war. A forgotten bit of history with happiness in a more chaotic tune. Of people who won the war but were unsure of what to do know, ready but scared and stuck in place.

The tune told the story of people who left home and war and hate to find a figment of a dream. Who tried to leave the rot but were to late to learn that they themselves were rotten and covered in it. A tale of a perfect ship full of broken people trying as hard as they can and avoiding troubles. Of people to scared or to ready to leave to the past and unaware of the future. 

A sad but hopeful melody, that maybe someday this could all be fixed and they could all be happy, but that was heavily undertoned with hopelessness and fear. So much fear and sadness and faking being okay. That was the story the song told.

But it would drift along to another tune, shifting into a song of an old medic with little left to lose and a body that didn't work or didn't want to work but for the moment content to be aboard the ship of broken people and humming broken tunes.


	2. Bliss

Ambulon and First Aid come onto the med bay and bring things with them. Physical belongings yes but also other things, things like laughter in the med bay and a bit of joy to the place Ratchet has been calling his office. They also bring songs, ones that aren't a soft hum that morphs into different tunes. 

Ratchet would sometimes hear First Aid singing carelessly, sometimes it was a show tune he didn't know or a soft song. One night he listened to the two working late, he could feel the relaxation in a room and it seemed that the other two medics had forgotten that Ratchet was in the room or just didn't care.

First Aid began to hum softly, growing in volume as the song went on. It wasn't a song Ratchet knew the words to, but he could tell it was from earth. He had also heard Ambulon humming it to himself. Ambulon cracked a smile as he started to sing the first lines of the song, causing First Aid to jump back to humming the beginning of the song. 

"Limited, look at me, I'm limited. and look at you, you could do all I couldn't do" Ambulon sung, his voice losing the bit it normally had, all the command draining out with each word. The former ward manager continued for a few more verses until First Aid started to sing and Ambulon to hum. They continued on switching part creating a pattern that seemed to lull Ratchet's busy hands to a stop.

He was fully listening them to be the time they stopped, raising their voices at the end, singing together and still keeping the tune without any humming. Their words extended and drawled out, soft and hopeful. The sound seemed to sweep the med bay and suddenly, not anything like it had begun, the two stopped and the med bay went back to silence. 

Sometimes, if the two med bots we're dueting, Ambulon and First Aid would pick a song and play it over the med bay speakers. Not when anyone else was awake, except for Ratchet who had not yet said no to the songs. Sometimes they would be soft and sad, these were Ambulon's picks, or happy and loved filled, First Aid's picks. Ratchet had come to the conclusion that they didn't care if he heard them playing music or singing it.

As life fell into a pattern for all three med bots singing became less common than playing music, they were to busy to sing. But if work ever dulled and it was simply quiet a song would spring from their mouths. 

Ratchet found himself humming some of their favorite songs while he worked alone instead of he default somber tune. The one he always seemed to get stuck on was the one that started with "sitting on the floor and talking until dawn". He enjoyed the sound of it but would never be caught humming it with anyone else around. But one night while he was working he started to hum it. 

He didn't notice that First Aid and Ambulon had slipped in and were working as well. But softly Ambulon started to sing to which Ratchet was shocked but didn't stop, not wanting the comforting sound of the duets to stop. First Aid filled the other part, with a soft smile as he sang the "la, la, la"s. 

The medics didn't talk about it but Ratchet's humming soon became a staple when anyone in the med bay sang. It still wasn't common, they were lucky if they were able to sing twice between planetary stops. But when they sang it always pleased Ratchet, the songs couldn't be sung without the three of them. Each had a part, each had a favorite song. Ratchet never sung and Ambulon and First Aid never hummed if they were all singing together.

Ratchet came to a point where he couldn't imagine life without the songs that played over the speakers or the trio all singing together. Or at least he didn't want to, despite everything he knew Ratchet didn't want this good thing to come to and end and for a small section of his life he honestly believed that Primus might grant him this.


	3. Empty Chairs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing

First Aid dropped down onto one of the med bay tables in shock, just staring at the wall. Pharma had killed Ambulon. His blank stare worried Ratchet but the older mech understood. Ratchet had built a gun out of Ambulon's guts. Ratchet slid down next to the smaller bot and offered simple companionship. First Aid had shot off Pharma's head. First Aid didn't move and didn't seem to process anything for a long time. Skids had delivered both halves of Ambulon. First Aid made a move to get up and walked over to his work desk while Ratchet kept a close eye on him. Ambulon was dead. "You can go rest, I'll deal with the work". It was all Ratchet's fault.

The med bay stayed silent for a long time after the death of Ambulon. There was no talking or humming and defiantly no music or singing. It came to the point where First Aid and Ratchet could go days without using more than five words. To a point where people would avoid the stagnant silence of the med bay if they could. There were so many unsaid things in the med bay.

The silence hurt the most, it hurt because of what had been their and what could have been there instead of the silence. Both First Aid and Ratchet Hated the silence, the hated how it burned like fire and hung like a sour scent. But if felt right, without Ambulon there should be no talking for it might turn into feeling things, no songs or their might be humming, not humming for it might turn into singing, and no singing because without Ambulon there was no one to sing with First Aid.

Ratchet would often overhear people talking about him at swerve's, most of the time it was nothing bad and if it was he didn't much care. People could think what they liked and if they thought stupid things they were stupid. But as time dragged on there was a slow increase in talking about First Aid. Worried tones would wrap around his name, as if to say 'don't talk to loud' or 'don't speak ill'.

Ratchet came to the point where he could tell which Medic the conversation was about. His own name was sometimes filled with laughter or spite, but always in good regards. His name could be an off hand comment with no need for conversations to be hushed or slowed. First Aid's name seemed to be made of something dangerous, one only to speak in hushed tones and worried looks. 

Ambulon's name seemed hard to say, people would pause before saying it, as if the simple word could break a heart all over again. It was the most dangerous name, and if Ratchet's or First Aid's name was spoken beside it it felt as though all hell would rain down if said to loudly. But life moved on past First Aid and Ambulon, the Medics became two halves of a whole not two thirds missing a vital point.

But First Aid still hid himself away, pilled up work and ideas, he wrote and busied himself. Ratchet knew that at some point First Aid was going to have to deal with it. First Aid was going to break and admit how wrong it all felt. Ratchet Prepared for tears and screams like were so many other people's reactions. But that was not what he got. 

Ratchet and First Aid were working in the same room, each wrapped up in doing something when words started breaking the stiff silence. "There's a grief that can't be spoken, there's a pain that goes on and on".

The lyrics poured themselves out of First Aid's mouth, the mech held his head level and sung without a sob. His voice seemed to be on the edge of breaking but he still pushed out the lyrics to a sad song. A song about boys who tried to do good but died and left only one of them alive. A song about hoped and dreams that were all crushed under the turning of the world.

Ratchet didn't know what to do so he simply began to hum, a soft sound of the final cracking of the heart and maybe a hope to rebuild and move on.


End file.
